i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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