My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
