i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
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They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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