I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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