He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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