I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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