Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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