If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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