Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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