He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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