I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
