In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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