just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
