just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
