i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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