you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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