you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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