Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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