He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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