you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
