we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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