so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
