he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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