They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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