Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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