yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
