I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
