Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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