is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
