um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
