Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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