my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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