Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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