i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
