i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
