You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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