you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I understand Curling. That high.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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