you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
