who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize