Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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