Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
