i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize