Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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