This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize