Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on