Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
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I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.