Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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