Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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