I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
