I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
