considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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