I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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