Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
