it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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