Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
