Small penises have feelings too.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
