just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
