i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
