Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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