i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
