We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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